


hoax

by bakasakali



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Inspired by Music, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:13:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25591129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bakasakali/pseuds/bakasakali
Summary: jisung was stupid to believe that hyunjin would ever love him back.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 39





	hoax

**Author's Note:**

> i've been listening to folklore way too much. this was obviously inspired by hoax and i speedwrote this for like 3 hours. no beta just my raw depression. btw lapslock typing up ahead.

jisung has been in love with hyunjin for eight years, been bestfriends with him for ten. 

  
it was during his twelfth birthday when he realized. jisung had always been an introvert and hyunjin had been his only friend. that day hyunjin sneaked through his window and pulled him out of his mini blanket fort. jisung's parents were devoted jehovah's witnesses. they had never celebrated his birthday before. jisung didn't care much. he had let himself be taken away by hyunjin. 

  
hyunjin bought him ice cream. strawberry, the flavor hyunjin remembered that he liked. he also bought him cotton candy. hyunjin had always liked buying him things. jisung thought his family must be rich, before he found out that he'd been stealing money from his mother's purse. he refused anything from him since then, but today hyunjin insisted that he had saved up some money from his little allowance just for this day.

  
it's when he's laughing at hyunjin's nose smudged with ice cream that he felt the first skip of his heart. hyunjin left him for a few seconds to get something, and then jisung felt something being gently placed on his head, a whisper of happy birthday in his ear. his eyes trickled with tears. he had never even greeted hyunjin on his birthdays before. he ended up keeping the party hat forever.

  
jisung didn't mind being in love. he liked all the little moments he shared with hyunjin. he was the most beautiful boy jisung had ever seen, and he watched him grow even prettier each day. jisung liked listing down specific things he liked about him. soon his words turned into phrases and phrases turned into poems. he found it amusing to be able to paint hyunjin with his words, and it made his heart flutter whenever hyunjin would smile while reading them. 

  
they were sixteen when hyunjin came out to him. jisung held him and told him he was the same. for the first time jisung thought of what it would be like to date him. hyunjin as a boyfriend was something he never dared to imagine before. he wished he never did, because since then, he started to yearn.

  
it was hard when hyunjin got his first boyfriend. all the scenarios forming in jisung's head got crushed. his words turned gloomy, but hyunjin remained beautiful. jisung suffered in silence, the way he always did before hyunjin arrived in his life. he knew first relationships never work out. the thought comforted him in a way, but at the same time it ached him that hyunjin's first heartbreak was inevitably coming.

  
and it did come. after five months of dating, hyunjin came crashing in his arms. jisung was there for him the whole time he cried his heart out. he swore at the guy for hurting hyunjin like this. _finnick, phoenix_ , whatever his name is. fuck him. hyunjin had to stop jisung from physically teaching the shithead a lesson.

  
they got back together the next day. jisung wanted to jump off a cliff. but, he felt happy seeing hyunjin smile again. and he told him he would always be there if he needed someone to hold him again.

  
hyunjin had significantly less time for jisung now. jisung treasured the few hours he'd get to spend with him in a week. hyunjin promised him saturdays specifically, until he started hanging out with his boyfriend during them too. hyunjin apologized many times for it. jisung told him it's okay.

  
jisung met a few people while missing him. he met changbin and chan in a restobar he part-timed in. the two were singers in it and after six heartbreak songs, jisung decided his words needed a tune. the three clicked together easily.

  
hyunjin was elated to hear that jisung had gained new friends. hyunjin was on the social side, and jisung knew he had a circle of friends around him. jisung knew seungmin and jeongin since a few years back, but never really associated himself with them. hyunjin's friends didn't have to be his friends. that was what he initially thought, but right now jisung was holding onto the last strings of hyunjin that he could reach. and so he befriended them too.

  
they were aware of jisung's feelings for hyunjin. said it was obvious by the way he looked at him. but hyunjin ever only had eyes for felix. and if he knew about jisung's love for him, he didn't care.

  
jisung started accepting that he and hyunjin weren't meant to be. he stopped showing hyunjin his lyrics. hyunjin didn't ask about it. it seemed that he was perfectly fine with letting jisung slip away. maybe first relationships do work out. maybe hyunjin was lucky to find his soulmate in his first try. it was time for jisung to move on.

  
jisung never dated anyone else. he wrote all the pain away. all the love away. and he uploaded his songs on the youtube channel he made with changbin and chan, with a little hope that his music will find their way to hyunjin someday.

  
maybe hyunjin heard his pleas and came back to him. because one day upon staring at the party hat hyunjin got for him on his twelfth birthday, his phone lit up with his name for the first time in a month. they had broken up. it had been a four year relationship.

  
jisung immediately asked him how he was. he was ready to come over and have him in his arms again. but hyunjin only giggled and said he was fine. said he felt nothing, even. he sounded happy too. maybe he fell out of love.

  
hyunjin told him he'd come over instead. they grinned at each other as jisung watched him sneak through his window. and after a long, long time, hyunjin was pulling him out of his blankets again. it was the happiest day in jisung's life.

  
it was the easiest thing to catch up with hyunjin. they quickly fell back to what they once were. hyunjin and jisung, jisung and hyunjin. just the two of them. jisung was already content with what they have.

  
until that night happened. when they were laying under the stars, everything felt different. their conversations felt different. somehow they felt more genuine. more… intimate. it was something that never happened before. the urge to get just a little bit closer, the urge to _touch_.

  
that night hyunjin had kissed him. it wasn't like anything jisung had imagined for years. hyunjin held his face gently, tongue softly sliding under his teeth. a tear fell from jisung's eye.

  
"i love you," hyunjin whispered.

  
jisung thought it was too good to be true. but his heart was jumping in joy, the weight of all his years of pining leaving his shoulders and minutes later jisung was sighing into the kiss. 

  
maybe they were meant to be.

  
jisung's happiness showed up in the lyrics he wrote. chan eyed him knowingly and changbin gave him a pat on the back. finally a non-broken one in the group. jisung just beamed at them.

  
it was seungmin and jeongin who gave him unsure looks upon hearing the news. 

  
"jisung, there's no way. it's only been days since they-"

  
jisung tuned seungmin out. he didn't care. they couldn't possibly know him and hyunjin's relationship better than _him_. they had been going on for ten years. he knew hyunjin better than anyone else. and he knew for sure, hyunjin loved him.

  
but some days he felt insecure. during those days hyunjin would quickly come to assure him. he hadn't even been thinking about felix anymore. hyunjin would let jisung rest his head on his chest, his thumb drawing shapes on jisung's back under his shirt. jisung would always feel all his worries drifting away.

  
it was two months into their relationship when jisung found out something. in hyunjin's gallery sat a folder named _lixie♡_. jisung screamed in rage as he deleted the folder immediately. hyunjin got angry, and the two had their first serious fight. hyunjin defended that the folder meant nothing. he couldn't delete it because he was a memory hoarder, but that didn't mean he still had lingering feelings for him. they didn't talk for a week, before jisung eventually gave in to hyunjin's wooing.

  
seungmin warned him another time. jisung ignored him.

  
something changed after that fight. jisung couldn't pinpoint what it was. hyunjin was still sweet to him, but he was responding slower to his i love yous. at some times jisung found him spacing out in the middle of their conversations. jisung tried not to think much of it, trying not to cause another conflict. he needed to trust his boyfriend more.

  
one day hyunjin didn't respond to any of his texts the whole day. naturally jisung panicked. his first thought was the worst possible scenario. he called seungmin and jeongin to ask if they had seen him. both answered no. jisung was about to surge through the night to find him.

  
he heard a loud knock on his window. he gasped and quickly opened it. hyunjin fell on him like a dead weight, reeking of alcohol. jisung put him to bed and changed his clothes. millions of thoughts ran in his head. he was worried more than ever. 

  
"what's wrong?" jisung asked under his breath.

  
hyunjin reached a hand out. jisung clasped it with his own.

  
"i miss you…" hyunjin mumbled, eyes fluttering open. " _felix_."

  
jisung felt his whole world crumble down. hyunjin pulled the back of his head down for a kiss. the moment their lips met, jisung decided he'd forget this day ever happened. and if it showed that he remembered, it would only be through the words in his lyrics.


End file.
